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    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

    A full download of Lucky Taw comes with:
    - All 13 songs in lossless format
    - High resolution track art booklet
    - A poem about the Bumblebee Bumboozer
    - An original solitaire card game based on the planets mentioned in Lucky Taw.
    - A Princess Glimmers outline drawing so you can color in the superheroine however you want! Tweet me your finished versions @MagicTurtle643 if you want.

      name your price

     

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about

Tri-Lite, Volume One.

The first album in a series of quirky synthpop LPs with track titles taken from the names of marbles. Do an image search for any track title plus the word "marble" to see what marble the song is named after. The songs on this album, especially, are named after some pretty neat-looking marbles. (Titles with two words usually combine two separate marble names)

Lucky Taw is a collection of off-the-wall comedy songs about superheroes, spaceships, alien planets and surreal distortions of our cosmic dimension. Listening to it is a bit like mainlining a sci-fi comic book liquefied in a solution of blue raspberry cream soda and unicorn saliva.

There are three sub-themes on this album: songs about superheroes (Princess, Tiger, Galaxy, Gooseberry), songs about space (Croton, Maglite, Corkscrew, Beachball) and songs from the perspective of an unreliable narrator who's trying to sell you some kind of bonkers nonsense (Lemonade, Cloudy, Bumblebee, Stardust). Although, a lot of the songs could fit multiple themes.

This album is FREE for anyone, and I encourage you NOT to pay for it. Just enjoy it, and play it LOUD.

And if you enjoy this album, check out Tri-Lite volumes II and III. Volume II is Ring Taw, a series of love stories with a sinister and supernatural twist. Volume III is Boss-Out, a steampunk story album, following the factory robot Drillgage in his fight against an evil inventor.

Questions, comments? Click "Contact Flyaway Frost" in the lower right corner of the page!

credits

released June 15, 2016

Written and performed by Benjamin Allan Simon.

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license

all rights reserved

about

Flyaway Frost and the Magic Turtles Omaha, Nebraska

Wonky glampop story songs. Always colorful, often strange, playfully corny. Think Animal Collective crossed with They Might Be Giants.

contact / help

Contact Flyaway Frost and the Magic Turtles

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Track Name: Comet/Meteor
Let’s ride a comet or meteor
To a topsy turvy time and place
Where heroes are born and aliens race
Through a whimsical wormhole in space.

Tri-Lite Volume One
Track Name: Lemonade
Hey there, don’t just walk on past
Cause this lemonade stand wasn’t built to last.
If you buy a cup I can make your sugar triple,
throw in a shoe shine, wax your back or nipple.

Oh yeah, you don’t think I will do it, do you?

Okay, that’s not something you’d want from me.
But how about I get you a cup or three (hundred)?
A jumbo cup of the pink lemonade
comes with a car, a t-shirt and a puppy.

It’s all part of the guarantee
You can’t make this stuff up.

Twice as much for organic lemons
but I bet they’re good for your … uh… face… health.
Plus they stimulate hair growth
and financial wealth.

Don’t you wanna be super wealthy
with your hair to your knees?
Try the super sour special
and I won’t just say please.

I’ll be your best friend
And I’ll take your mom to lunch--
oh you would actually hate that?
well then, how about brunch?

The liquid I use is holy water.
Is that worth a buck?
The green ones aren’t limes,
they’re infused with Irish luck.

The sugar free kind
grant the power of flight.
Pop a lemon seed
to be blessed with foresight.

I've got an idea, why not buy the whole jug?
It’s so darn acidic it can bleach clean your rug.
Spray it in your mattress and you’ll kill all the bed bugs.
Five hundred more dollars and I’ll throw in a bear hug.

Fine. Walk away. I’ll be out here all day.

And when you come crawling right back to me,
You best be guessing that my offer won’t stay.

The first cups free,
that’s my guarantee
but the painful withdrawals will make you pay!

Hey! Wait! Don’t walk away!
I’m not done with my sales pitch.

Lost another customer
to that kid down the street…
How does she sell stuff
by just sitting in that seat?

What did she offer that I haven’t tried?
Whatever she promised,
she probably lied.
Track Name: Princess Glimmers
Princess Glimmers is her alter ego
But she picked that name when she was a teen.
Now she’s stuck with this feminine identity
That sounds like the title of a glamour magazine.

But really she’s tough as nails,
And not the kind you manicure at spas.
Nobody said that a superheroine
Has to shave her pits or wear a push-up bra.

She doesn’t need your affirmation,
So please hold your applause.

Princess Glimmers
Save the day.
With your sparkly pink laser beams.
I know those powers sound a little bit girly,
But that’s only the way it seems.

Nobody owns her. She works alone, sir.
She doesn’t need a man or a sidekick.
She dated Corporal Pulsar but punched him into space
When he referred to her as his “side chick.”

She doesn’t need your super man-splaining
She can change a tire without complaining.

She’s twice as powerful as all the males
Who work beside her in the superhero field.
She isn’t rendered useless by being near a mineral.
But she still doesn’t have her own Hollywood feature film deal.

She doesn’t wear all that skimpy apparel.
What use is a costume that shows too much skin?
The thousand eyes of a giant monster fly
wouldn’t even notice her exposed thighs
While she’s beating it to death with its own limbs.

Princess Glimmers
Save the world
With the magic of a glittering unicorn
It’s a girly backstory, but she can’t help that her powers
Came from being stabbed by its horn.

She once saved the earth from evil robots,
And the news only cared how her makeup looked.
She once laser-fried a huge mutant crab
And the headline read, “That Girl Can Cook!”

She already broke through the glass ceiling
And I mean that totally literal.
She flew through a skylight while outrunning a big explosion
But I’d say that counts, still.

Princess Glimmers
The savior of Earth.
In the sky her rainbow trail shimmers.
She’s truly outstanding, she could use some re-branding
But she’s stuck with the name Princess Glimmers.
Track Name: Cloudy
Chester Allan Arthur was a kamikazee communist
who flew his helicopter into China's target flag.
He won the Karl Marxmanship award for his sideburns
but he doesn't like to brag

'Cause Franklin Lincoln told him if you
cut down that cherry tree,
you should never tell a lie.
Unless you've been sippin' on some cotton gin
from the South's big fields of rye.

I remember history
like I recall Sicily
It's got a leaning monument
to the inventor of the pork rotisserie.

No, nothing's gotten cloudy in my mind
And I'ma stick to the facts, you'll find
You gotta keep up or stay behind
cause you know I'm not gonna rewind.

The Easter island dino eggs
were all dug to make some room
for plastic Aztec pyramids,
with mustolids in the mummy's tomb

ever since St. Patrick came
to make the Irish ferrets tame
Egypt never was the same
now Istanbul has been the name

Can't stand that nobel laureate
Constantinople story yet
Cause they haven't found their glory at
the Texas territory, that

may be the best excuse for why
they can't recall their alibi
when remembering the Alamo
or the alimony owed

I know all the science cause
it proves that there were giants
they all lived inside the Vatican
till L. Ron got all fat again

and led a great defiance
to wrangle up some clients
to sell his Hubbard telescopes
to Capricorns and billy goats

Chemistry is easy
if you're part of the protists family
E=MC3
but only for the mass of manatees

the elements are relevant
to platinum plated pelicans
who measure moles of kilodirts
in a black hole donut hole of hertz

The truth hertz, don't it?

I'm a pro at stoichiometry
like Einstein was at dentistry
He's famous for his fairy wings
and for pulling teeth by tying floss to string theory

No, nothing's gotten cloudy in my mind
And I'ma stick to the facts, you'll find
You gotta keep up or stay behind
cause you know I'm not gonna rewind.

The ancient Chinese dynasties
went south to the icy tropics
there they found no privacy
from lifeforms microscopic

Organisms can organize in single file lines
But only when a total of a single planet aligns
Every mitochondrion can be a hypochondriac
if it makes all of its energy for no one but insomniacs

Organisms can organize in single file lines
But only when a total of a single planet aligns
Every mitochondrion can be a hypochondriac
if it all makes energy for no one but insomniacs

I remember history
like I recall Sicily
It's got a leaning monument
to the inventor of the pork rotisserie

No, nothing's gotten cloudy in my mind
And I'ma stick to the facts, you'll find
You gotta keep up or stay behind
because you know I'm not gonna rewind.
Track Name: Croton Alley
When you gaze across the canyons
you'll know you are home.
In the nation the Crotons founded
where the buffalo used to roam.
Some may call it a barren dessert,
but we call it a clean slate.

Earth's ugly green mistakes erased
irradiated!
This land is your land
but we're still the landlords.

Our soldiers wear the color of gray
to match the eyes of our leader
many lightyears away.

He stands watching over the nations he claimed,
in badges of honor from the planets he's maimed.

Croton Alley!
The flag flies high!
Vapor trails in the sky.

Croton Alley
Croton Alley.
The flag flies high.
Your country keeps you safe,
try to leave and you'll die.

This land is your land human friend,
just keep on your tracking device
and don't be late for your DNA blend.
We'll make a patriot out of you yet.
Doesn't matter how high your shock collar is set.

Always remember that the country you live in
stands for what's right.
We fought bravely for our freedom
to exercise our might.

With plasma cannons on your side
a conquest only takes one night.

Don't ask what you're building,
it's a--community project.
You know, for fun!

Let's say it's a... huge... telescope.
Not some... massive world destroying gun.

Just remember to be proud of your heritage
and sing the anthem when you feel like you're the one
who can stand up to the Croton army (ha!)

One nation united in the palm of the leader's hand.

Croton Alley!
The flag flies high!
Vapor trails in the sky.

Croton Alley
Croton Alley.
The flag flies high.
Your country keeps you safe,
try to leave and you'll die.

This land is your land human scum--I mean chum!
Take pride in your duty,
keep in time with the drum.
We'll make a happy citizen out of you soon.
Would you rather spend another week
with the others on the moon?
Track Name: Tiger
I have a problem I need to address
before I take over the world:
the only person who stands in my way
is none other than my dream girl.
They call her the Tiger and she prowls the streets
looking for villains to turn into mincemeat.
She leaps over buildings and lands on her feet,
hunting the evil she craves to defeat.

And yes that counts me
her arch enemy,
but we could still be,
married, you’ll see
But the first thing I need
is to get her agreed
with my evil plots one through three.

I think I can count on
my skills of persuasion,
if she’d just sit through
my short presentation.

Infected with an alien cat scratch fever
from a radioactive feline, she’s my
ferocious foe but if you’ll believe--oh
I want her to be mine.

They call her the tiger
though she doesn’t really resemble one.
And though I do chase her,
if I had her by the toe I’d have more fun.

Attention all you pitiful citizens here of the Earth,
I’m holding every single person on the planet for ransom,
Unless you all pitch in to help me get the girl,
By convincing her I’m awesome or at least a little bit handsome.

I don't know, I don't think it's too much of a stretch.

If I do say so myself, I’m a reasonably attractive fellow.
There's no grotesque disfigurements here,
not even a a patch on my eye.
I’ve got a cool CD collection and a fifty-ton laser gun,
And though I might be psychotic, I’m still a pretty nice guy.

But each time I see her she foils my plan.
To either enslave all mankind or become her man.

I know I annoy her,
but it’s hard to avoid her
and it’s hard to enjoy her
when I’m trying to destroy her

And I’m willing to bet
she doesn’t know me well yet,
Since I’ve tried to kill her every time we’ve met.

Does that count as playing hard to get?

Infected with a mystical
cat scratch fever, from a tiger
from the reaches of outer space
She's my best nemesis but I’d never leave her
if she’d just give up this cat and mouse chase.

They call her the tiger
though she doesn’t really resemble one.
And though I do chase her,
That doesn't mean I'm not gonna try to blow up the sun.

Attention insignificant sycophants
sitting on the fence between
sinister and innocent
Every citizen has an insidious dream.
So render yourself a soldier or surrender yourself to me.
Of course there’s still an "Option C"
to join in the choreography.

You know, for one of those
elaborate song and dance
marriage proposals.

I never call her Tigress
cause I know she thinks that’s sexist
and I always try to be polite.

Even during our most violent fights,
if I get it wrong I will try to correct it.
I hope you know I wanna get it right.

You’ll never catch me alive!
Behold my death ray, just try to survive.
I’ll reduce the Earth to a rubble you’ll never revive,
Oh, also, are you free for dinner at five?

I don’t know her real name but she’s
such a fine crime fighting lady
that I think I should at least make one up

Katie!

This is the end of the line
Declare me king or at least “The Divine”
Consider this a death threat to you 7 billion strong.
Or if Katie hears it: a love song.
Track Name: Maglite Swirl
Captain’s Diary; day 34
aboard the Solar Flare.
I can see the distant galaxy
if I squint my eyes and stare.
I’m pretty sure that’s a star cluster
and not a window glare.

The telescope says it’s lightyears away
but who trusts that optic prism?
The hyperdrive is out of fuel
But my heart is full of optimism.

I know the ship will reach the Maglite Swirl:
the galaxy of gods.

The computer says there’s no such thing as god,
but I never trust the odds.
So when the computer prints out these
"Chance of Survival" reports
I crumple them into spitwads.

I’m not a real captain,
but I ain’t no fraud.

Captain’s Diary: day 35
Has it really only been a day?
The crew is getting restless
because I had to burn the mattresses
we used all the fuel away.
The computer says we should probably turn around
but my heart tells me to stay.

The telescope says it’s lightyears away
but who trusts that optic prism?
The hyperdrive is out of fuel
But my heart is full of optimism.

I know the ship will reach the Maglite Swirl
(I promise you it’s) the galaxy of gods.

We encountered an alien ship today,
It sent hostile signals so we blew it away.
Oh you know, in the blackness of space you gotta prove who’s tougher,
At least I think S.O.S. means “Surrender or Suffer.”

I';m certain that we’ll make it to the Maglite Swirl,
where planets are made of pearls.
My second in command says that doesn’t make sense,
But the oyster is my world.
I mean the world is my clamshell.
I mean--shut your clam, second in command!
I never even wanted you as my right hand man.

Captain’s Diary: 103
I know the galaxy is near.
I see it’s spiral arms reaching for me,
Like a jellyfish crossed with a frisbee.

When I reach my destiny,
they’re gonna crown me king
of the galaxy.

Well I’ll settle soon on some nice distant moon.
Colonize some crater-filled dune.
That sounds pretty terrible (actually).
Let’s take over a planet.
I’ll be the one to man it.
And I guarantee they’ll look up to me,
they’ll see me as a messiah.

I know it has riches beyond my wildest dreams,
and though I’ve never had a dream thanks to cryosleep,
I’ve heard they can be wild, now we’re talking extreme,
so based on that description, this place can’t be cheap.

My crew and I will get there
If they do what I say.
A lot left with escape pods
But I never liked them anyway.

Me and my crew, we’re headed for the galaxy
They’re like a family to me.
Though I don’t recall their names
That’s why I gave them numbers,
And address them “one through twenty-three.”

Maybe I’ll set up a martian mansion there,
I know they probably don’t have a Mars, but who cares?
They’ll probably put up something like a statue of a captain,
that’s me!
which basically means I own the planet.

The indigenous race will be grateful for us,
Like the Indians back home--we never broke that trust.
They’ll say "hey, you’ll run it better than we will!"
and give us all of their land
and we’ve got rayguns (if they dare to take a stand.)
But if we’re being honest I doubt they will.

I can smell the maglite swirl,
it’s coming in so close.
The computer says we’re stranded
But it don’t have a nose.

I’m stuck in its hypnosis
spinning like a void
It’s telling me to do things
ensure all ships destroyed.

Nobody can stop me
I’d like to see them try.
I mean, I’d rather see them not try
but if they do I’ll make them die!

The crew that stayed is planning a mutiny,
But we’ll be there before they overthrow.
It’s just me and my crew, united in unity.
Just a few more lightyears to go.
Track Name: Galaxy
Everyone calls me Admiral Galaxy,
cause I run the Navy of the wavy sky.
I don't mean I'm part of the military,
but it does mean that I can fly.

Well I consider myself a superhero,
and have as far back as I can recall.
But my memory depends on if I've fought my nemesis,
the Masked Amnesia, this week at all.

Allow me to clarify, I'm here to save the day.
Well, I mean to say, as long as that's okay.
Allow me to clarify, I'm here to save your life,
and if you let me touch her I'll even save your wife.
(just sign the release)
I promise not to infringe on your personal space,
unless of course you mean, like, actual space.
Cause all of that kind of is qualified
as my personal space--my base--
cause like I said, they call me to my face:

Admiral Galaxy, hooray hooray!
Admiral Galaxy, away away!

Wouldn't say that I've got a weakness.
Unless you mean a bit of smooth jazz.
But I do have an array of cool abilities...
and not just basic skills that everyone has.

My eyes shoot rays of neutrinos
so that means that I can see right through you all.
My fists are atomic, which means they're super deadly...
not super small. (in case you were wondering).

Allow me to clarify,
my powers are insured,
so even if you beat me,
my investments have matured.

I really don't need this job,
it's just the skill-set that I've got.
I'm a hero out of courtesy,
until I pay off my yacht.

Admiral Galaxy, hooray hooray!
Admiral Galaxy, away away!

Let me make a disclaimer,
I'm not into fame, here.
My lawyer just claims we're
avoiding the blame, you're
not gonna get saved, sir
without signing the waiver.
If you don't want the favor
then go find someone braver.

Or else settle for me,
your Admiral Galaxy.

Project the signal in the sky for me.
Unless it's during the day.
And be sure there's no light pollution,
or you won't see the signal anyway.
Just shine it on some clouds or something...
assuming it's a cloudy night.
You could try the side of a building,
but my vantage point better be right.

Admiral Galaxy go.
Turn off all your cell phones
while the hero takes flight.

I'll save the Milky Way from this intolerance...
not of lactose, but of people.
You'll see me watching way up high on to tops of churches,
assuming it's not too steep of a steeple.
I've saved the planet at least a dozen times
all by myself ... unless you count last spring.
I had some help from Corporal Pulsar.
So it was a share-the-credit kinda thing.
Track Name: Corkscrew
Have you gotten bored of the black-out of space?
Or the daily doldrums of your own dull face?
Did you expect the expansive stratosphere
To harbor more life on these static spheres?

Have you ever wished you could be somewhere new?
Not just somewhere, but something and some who too.
We can make you into someone way better than you,
through an extensive program that we call the Corkscrew.

We have the solution to spice up your existence,
by ditching your old one and going the distance

Just go through
the Corkscrew
and I promise you
you’ll be safe
Just go through
the Corkscrew.
Go go go!

You’ll come out the other side a brand new kinda person.
Although maybe not human, you mighta turned into a creature
But you’ll at least still be alive, this ain’t a place you’ll find a hearse in--
cause cars are too familiar of a feature.

That’s the beauty of a new dimension,
You’re free from your old universe’s conventions.
Perhaps now things aren’t made of atoms but instead made of eves,
Maybe knowledge grows in place of apples,
and feather boas instead of leaves.
But once you go through the Corkscrew you can never go back.
Did I fail to mention that?

We've got a way tp spice up your existence,
by ditching your old one and going the distance
through space and time to a divine ascension
It’s not like your planet ever promised a pension.

Just go through
the Corkscrew (go through)
and I promise you
you’ll be safe
Just go through
the Corkscrew. (what you waiting for?)
Go go go!

And you’ll get new laws of physics
so your crimes will be forgotten.
We can make sure the fruit of your loins will
never go rotten.

And if all of that is not enough
to make you want to go in,
the best part of going through
is never seeing your in-laws again.

Buy a one-way ticket now
through the Corkscrew portal.
Spin your spaceship like a bottle
and kiss goodbye other mortals.

Play craps in the crapshoot
where space time disrupts.
You could end up in a place
with no end or no up.
Try a sip of coffee
floating just next to your cup.

Maybe there will be pink clouds between all the planets
or a pyramid moon.
A universe where all life is dark matter splattered
over sporks, which they use instead of spoons.

50 million bucks will get you through the gate.
Hit “defrag” on your soul,
hit "reset" on your fate.
Track Name: Gooseberry
I don’t understand it,
no one could have planned it
All I did was eat a gooseberry.

Now there's all these changes
and it’s just the strangest.
I’ve got powers I’m too wary
to use
on anyone.

They told me not to visit
that Boisenberg town
with all of its fruity pollutants.
What grows in the ground
That has turned me to a mutant?

And not the cool kind with healing or claws,
I’m more inclined to call these abilities flaws.

Plasma beam palms are a power that I think would really fit,
but I’m stuck with fingers that pelt out these bullets of orange pits,
If given the chance to choose my own ability, I might have gone with a supercharged voice,
but the ability to speak to peaches would probably not have been my first choice.

With grape power comes stupid responsibility,
I taste sour, but I’ve got no added agility.
I mean I’ll do my best to stop thieves and felons,
Whoever crosses me will get a face full of melons.

And not the fun kind.
I mean the kind with the rind.

I wish I never ate it,
now I really hate it,
That magic patch of gooseberries.

I can’t be a hero
if I’m less than number one,
I don’t even have heat rays
I shoot cherries out of my eyes.

I guess you could say
that I’m telekinetic,
Cause I can drop a coconut on anyone’s head.
but it’s kind of pathetic,
cause all my enemies are just overfed.

I can’t be the cool kind of caped crusader,
While the papers call me the "Masked Tomater."

Acid spit glands can be put to some kind of use,
but what good is saliva made of prune juice?
A cannon for a hand would come in handy at times,
but what kind of trick is a fist that shoots candy apples kiwis and limes?
Track Name: Stardust Confetti
Hey there, don’t just walk by
I’ve got a product that you’ll want to try.
Hey! At least hear me out before poo-pooing it.
It’s the latest thing and all the kids are doing it. (all the cool ones)

Don’t be silly, it’s not illicit.
It’s not some street drug, that’s implicit. (duh)
If it was, this album would be marked explicit.
This is opportunity, you don’t want to miss it.

It’s called Stardust Confetti
A powder from outer space.
It’s called Stardust Confetti
A chowder with a louder taste.

Gathered from a lather of distant nebulas
And a smattering of scattered stars.
I’m betting this confetti will make life fabulous
And show you how to throw a party on Mars.

Not literally, but in your brain,
A laser light show flowing through your veins.
It’s really inexplicably ineffable, and kind of hard to explain
But there’s a very low risk of going insane.

Stardust Confetti
Let your stains and pains be replaced
Stardust Confetti
Lots of memories will be erased.

Who needs memories?
They’re all a waste of space.
Once you give a taste.
it'll all fall into place.

It’s a psychedelic relic from an ancient alien race--
An entire civilization that couldn’t feel their face.

You could say it’s a spice that’s as old as thyme.
And he who controls the spice, controls the clever rhyme.

See the world turning upside down,
See the trees turn into evil clowns.

I’m not selling plain old lemonade though it does have a hint of lime.
Try a bit and see the clouds swirl with a spinart design so sublime.

He who tries the spice can’t control his digestive
systems, but the confetti colors will make your BMs festive.

See the sky falling down in a shower of jewels.
See the rivers run red and the streets fill with ghouls.

See the rainbows spinning ribbons on a chocolate-covered mountain.

See the earth spewing bile in a mile high fountain.

Just try a taste.
Try it, you'll like it.
(I promise you, you will).
Try it, try it, try it now!
(Try it, try it, TRY IT!)

That's the spirit!
How's the taste?
It should be kicking in right about NOW

Sounding out the electric mudpies
machining zig-zag ragtime shows
marketing klaxxon blizzard glitter
fever manifesto.

(This is what we call a bad trip!)

That'll be eighty bucks!
Track Name: Beachball
They call it the beachball
cause it’s a planet of shores,
And every inch of its surface
Has sand and beauty galore.

The travel pamphlets all say
that it’s a perfect sphere of paradise.
Where it’s always a sunny day
And you’re free to feed that vice.

The beachball
Gets passed around
(The orbit of a hundred suns.)

The beachball
Has atmosphere
(And an ozone layer that’s oh-so fun.)

The beachball
Is always toasty
(Like a marshmallow roasted tasty black.)

The beachball
Is like a planet-sized sauna
(the heat never holds back.)

It’s in the Maglite cluster
Go through the Corkscrew to get there
It’s run by the Crotons
So you know the price is probably fair.

Sign up today
for a time share.
Summertime on this planet
lasts a million years.

The native women who live there
Are always scantily clad
In the latest space fashions
And interstellar fads.

And trust me...
they're not that bad.

The food supply is endless
And it always tastes the best
Assuming it’s something your human stomach
Can actually digest.

It’s got the most brownest oceans
And the brownest skies too,
While I know you'd prefer blue
Blue, on this planet is the color of poo.

Try the mud bath hot springs,
They make up most of the sea.
Those bubbles are from massage jets.
The mud's not boiling.
I swear.

You’ll have the time of your life,
The vacation to end all vacations (literally)
I promise the planet isn't some huge a blazing inferno
Where we send folks to end overpopulation.
That would be crazy.

...

The beachball
Gets passed around
(The orbit of a hundred suns.)

The beachball
Has atmosphere
(And an ozone layer that’s oh-so fun.)

The beachball
Is always toasty
(Like a marshmallow roasted tasty black.)

The beachball
Is like a planet-sized sauna
(the heat never holds back.)
Track Name: Bumblebee Bumboozer
Some say that it’s a weapons master
A tin man with cannons and
a can opener band saw on a
southpaw brander sand blaster

In truth it was a mystery
an enigma wrapped in aluminum caps
on the tips of its rabbit ears
to get reception from the conspiracy frequencies.

No one knows if it’s got a stop
key or a cancel command
and its battery is like a drumming bunny
it just keeps going

Rumors say it’d try to save the day
But would only topsy turvy out the laws of physics.
Like, the tides ignore the moon, while lungs float like balloons,
but rumors never specify specifics

Maybe if you saw it you’d get what I am saying,
The thing could make impossible seem everyday mundane,
And I swear it’s real,
I can’t prove it exists
but I can prove how I feel

If you met a man of metal handmade
from the land of flavor-aid
with red sand rivers made of rust merengue
And the orange dust powders taste like tang
then maybe you’d understand why I can’t explain,
how this clanging thing came from a crane game
and fell with the rain from the celestial shower drain
and became a strange name among the plain

Who created it
Where’d it come from?
Is it still lurking around in stealth?
If you see the robot you’d better run
It may not be dangerous
but running’s still good for your health.

The astonishing automaton
Do I dare speak its name?

THE BUMBLEBEE BUMBOOZER
Its purpose overshadowed by its fame.

Some say it was an error,
a reject ejected from
an interdimensional assembly line
of unconventional inventions engineered

for total domination
but he was an aberration,
like malfunctioning conjunctions
and but for yet to so nor

He’s a mighty machine, a mythical gizmo,
What does it mean?
Can it destroy the whole planet wiping out the entire human race or just grind up coffee beans?

I don’t know how many stories are true,
About the Bumblebee Bumboozer or what it could do,
Some say it’s just a fancy kitchen household appliance
With a lot of extra features and some exaggerated science

But I’ll tell you this and you can mark my words
the Bumboozer is out there, flying with the birds
Spreading vapor trails
that make us trust the government
and grow hairless monkey tails.

My neighbor told me, it’s just some smart car that runs on steam
It’s reputation is just the result of a clever marketing team.
But not long after my cousin said it’s a virtual god,
and we’re all just figments in the mind of a mod.

Meanwhile our real bodies,
are plugged in to a fuel pod.

We’ll never know
We’ll never know
If the Bumblebee is real or just part of a sci-fi show
But I believe
what I believe
That this robot is like nothing you could ever conceive,
And I guarantee
he’s the hero we need
The human race needs mending,
By the Bumblebee Bumboozer.

Patent pending.